Saturday, May 27, 2006

The Butler Speaks

Ten Little Indians rehearsals are in full swing, which means the blog has been ignored for a week. Hopefully all you Father of the Bride readers are still here. I told you I wasn't the most prompt writer, so you can't say you weren't warned.

How will the new show be? It's a little too early to tell, but I think it's going to be a good one. Brian, the director, has some great ideas, and the cast contains of a lot of veteran actors of the Indianapolis stage. I'm finding it harder to sustain a believable English accent than I thought, but I have four weeks to work it out. Hopefully I'll be fine and won't make an ass of myself.

My niece turned three yesterday. I bought her a huge bucket of Mr. Potato Head parts to go with the Mr. Potato Head I bought her for Christmas. I also bought her a cow figurine, but that was more to make her mother laugh. (Val and I have this inside joke about cows. I'm trying to pass it off to the next generation.) I talked to Bianca on the phone to wish her a Happy Birthday and was amazed at how grown up she is. Three years. Time really does fly when you get older.

I'm listening to the new Paul Simon album (Surprise) right now. It's different. Funky. I like it. I recently bought the remastered version of his classic 1973 There Goes Rhymin' Simon album and have been playing "One Man's Ceiling Is Another Man's Floor" a lot lately. The song itself is pretty bland - the lyrics have something to do with apartment living - but there's this piano riff at the beginning and end of the song that is just amazing. It's so simple yet it blows me away every time I hear it. Seek it out. And give the new album a spin, too.

Ken Lay and Jeffrey Skilling were convicted! There is justice in the world sometimes.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Voice Is Scary

I am not dead. There have been times in the past week where I wish I was dead, but I did not actually die. Truthfully, I am getting better. At this point I only sound like I'm dying, instead of sounding, looking and feeling like I'm dying. I've made vast improvments.

I'm left with only a persistent cough that won't go away. Every ten minutes or so I begin to hack like an old man who has smoked for the past 75 years, a hack that has ravaged my voice. I've never used the term "gravel-like" to describe my voice, but that's applicable now. Think Popeye without the weird laugh or all that spinach and you have an idea.

Of course, what a perfect time for the power to go out! Yesterday there was a massive power surge in both Carmel and Fishers, and I lost power at both work and home. The library was without electricity for nearly two hours. We had to shut the place down, which has never happened before. (At least since I started working there.) Patrons were angry that we were kicking them out, never mind the fact that they couldn't see anything or that they couldn't use the bathrooms. (Everything, from the toilets to the sinks, is electric.) There was some yelling, from what I understand. Thankfully, no one yelled at me. It's a library, people. It's dark. The bathrooms smell funny now. What do you want from us?

Anyway, since my power went out at home, too, my answering machine message was erased. And since I have a Nazi-style machine that won't work without a message - if there isn't one it beeps at you every two minutes, driving you mad - I had to record one using my current sandpaper tones. At least now I might frighten away some telemarketers.

And, yes, this post title is supposed to be a play on the 'Til Tuesday song "Voices Carry". He said shut up! He said shut up! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah hush!!!!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Worst Vacation Ever

I was on vacation last week. Wednesday afternoon I was doing what I always do on vacation, taking a daily nap. My phone rang. I was startled, grabbed the receiver and shouted, "Hello." And I immediately noticed that my throat, which felt fine when I fell asleep on the couch listening to my iPod, now felt tight. I tried to lie to myself, thinking that maybe I startled my vocal chords or something when I woke up, but that excuse wasn't holding water five hours later. I spent the rest of the night worrying that I had Father of the Bride disease, which had knocked several of our cast members on their ass towards the end of our rehearsal process. But I still went to sleep that night thinking I would wake up and be fine. After all, I hadn't been really sick since 1996.

Thursday I woke up feeling groggy. My throat still hurt, but now not only was I really tired but my nose was running non-stop. And I was coughing. A lot. But I was on vacation and had a lot of "stuff" to do, so I got up and took a shower. I was up for about four hours before I went back to bed. In other words, it was just like a normal vacation day except this time I had a reason to nap.

Friday I felt terrible. My throat was pretty much closed, I was coughing all the time, my sinuses were running like a faucet, and, to top it all off, I now had a fever and was experiencing vertigo. Needless to say, I spent the final day of my vacation in bed. Moaning in pain.

Saturday I woke up, feeling a little better. Since I had plans that evening I didn't want to cancel, I got up and acted like everything was fine. Except it wasn't, and I spent about three hours sleeping in the late afternoon after I exhausted myself. But I did feel better. So, of course, I took the opportunity to infect the entire house of Footlite's Saturday night performance of Into the Woods with my germs. Sorry, but I wanted to see the show before it closed. You understand.

Today I woke up, feeling worse than I did the night before. I had some grocery shopping to do, so I went to Kroger and, while I was there, raided their pharmacy for both cough drops and sinus medication. (I have been popping Tylenol like an addict since Thursday.) Once the meds began to kick in I started feeling a little better, so I went to Mom and Dad's to celebrate Mother's Day. Unfortunately, I began coughing uncontrollably while I was there and was forced by guilt to head home after about four hours because I didn't want to make them sick. When I got home I wasn't sleepy, so I curled up on the couch and watched King Kong. Unfortunately, that only made me sicker, but only because the movie was bad.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to go back to work. My plan is to go in regardless of how I feel and, if I still feel shitty, turn around and leave. I don't think my boss would believe me if I called in sick the Monday after a vacation, so I'll give him a visual aid if he needs one. And maybe a nasty cold in the process.

You'd think after the past five days I've had, I'd go see a doctor or something. Hah! Why should I do that when I'm just going to get better soon anyway? Oh, yeah, I could die. But I'm invincible!

Alright, if I still feel bad Tuesday, I'll see a doctor. Happy? Good.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Road To Nowhere

Look, I'm all for road construction. Really, I can deal with the delays, the headaches and the long lines of traffic, so long as I can see actual work being done. Twice in the past two days I've been stuck in traffic jams because roads have been reduced to one lane for no reason. Yesterday it was Allisonville Road. The new lanes they added last year between 116th and 96th Street? Yeah, they're closed now. Why, I have no idea. They're brand new! What in the hell could be wrong with them? Your only option now is to merge and wait. No construction workers, no big trucks, nothing. Just traffic.

Tonight, same deal. I was coming home from striking the set of Father of the Bride when I-465 was suddenly reduced to one lane between Keystone and I-69. Of course this slowed traffic to a crawl. For that long stretch of highway, I saw one construction worker. And that guy wasn't even working, just walking around the area in his reflective vest. Meanwhile I was sandwiched between a semi and one of those annoying people who try to swerve around me to see what the holdup is, insinuating in the process that it's my fault we're stuck in traffic. Dude, get off my ass. I'm not happy about it, either.

So, thankfully, my daily trips to Zionsville are done for now. A sign on the highway alerted me to the fact that these lane restrictions would be happening for months. And, this being Indiana, they probably won't remove those blasted red cones until late November.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Satisfaction Guaranteed

Father of the Bride is over, long live Father of the Bride. It was a great show to be a part of and I'm happy to forever be known as the wedding coordinator from hell. A few random memories:

  • Bribing Kevin with one whole dollar if he would change "Aunt Harriet" to "Aunt Jemimah" during one of his act three phone calls. He wisely decided to pass.
  • That damn moustache. Essential to the character, yet a pain in the ass to apply and maintain. (Special thanks to Patsy on helping me out...)
  • Mistaking Lauren for a bower of flowers.
  • The mid-act-two-plane-spiraling-out-of-control bit, also known as "The 72." Names will not be mentioned.
  • The ad-lib, which is already the stuff of legend.
  • Catching a group of cast members' kids entertaining each other by making the "Satisfaction guaranteed" motion over and over again during dinner. Whether they were embracing or ridiculing my performance was unknown.
  • Having to hold for minutes of laughter after Phil walked out onstage.
  • Hanging with Lauren in the kitchen throughout the entire first act, where I mainly watched her eat gummy worms. (Excuse me, "Neon Gummy Night Crawlers".)
  • Teresa and her hatred - and eventual acceptance - of the wig.
  • Watching the guys in the cast go from balking at wearing stage makeup to trading tips on how to best use an eyeliner pencil.
  • 1:30 a.m. Denny's trips.
  • The Cobblestone Grill and their patience with us on Thursday nights.
  • "What was it like to live in the 80's?"

And that's just the tip of the iceburg. There's more, I know, but it's late and I'm tired. Thank you, Father of the Bride cast and crew, for making this such a great experience. You all helped in giving me the confidence to create one of my most memorable characters and I appreciate that. Massoula will be tough to beat.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

It's Always About The Bride

I kept promising Cassie I would send her my blog address and I always forgot. But I finally sent it to her tonight, so hopefully she'll enjoy the many future ramblings - as well as the many ramblings located in the archives! - here at Waye's World, my little Internet home.

For those who haven't seen Father of the Bride yet, Cassie is our bride. She's very natural and funny onstage, and she does one hell of a job with her part. Of course, those of you who've seen the show know what I'm talking about. And those of you that haven't, well, what are you waiting for? This weekend is it, man! Friday-Saturday-Sunday! Father of the Bride!

I'm bummed that she and I don't share a scene together, because we would have had some fun. The closest we came was a publicity photo that was supposed to show up in the local paper. (But hasn't yet, as of this writing.) Oh, well, guess we'll have to do another show together. That is, if she can stand spending another six weeks rehearsing with me. Hey, the first time you don't know what you're getting into. But the second? Don't say I didn't warn you.

Cassie is a substitute teacher by day and claims to have a teacher face and voice, but she won't demonstrate it for me. She claims she can't "turn it on" at will, which I can understand. I hate it when people demand I switch to my library face and voice on a whim, so I know what she's talking about.

So that's Cassie. Our bride. Father of the Bride. This weekend! Tickets still available! I think!

Monday, May 01, 2006

Week One? Check!

And the first weekend of Father of the Bride is over. I think it went rather well, even if I did call the mother of the bride by the wrong last name Sunday afternoon. (Seriously, what author in her right mind would use the names Banks, Buckley, Ben, and Buckingham all in the same show? That's just asking for your actors to get confused.) The audiences seemed to enjoy it. And they laughed at my bits, which was nice.

Of course, we have no rehearsals this week until Thursday, so I'm experiencing what I like to call theatrical withdrawal. All night long I felt like I should be in Zionsville rehearsing instead of sitting at home doing nothing. (Although the nap I took was nice.) I even watched a random movie (Soapdish) I haven't seen in fifteen years that I found sitting on the shelf at work today. And I even have time to update the blog, which is always a rarity when I'm doing a show.

Unfortunately, that's all that's new. So...

Buy the new Bruce Springsteen album! It's not typical Bruce; it's more of a hootenanny. It's called We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions, and it's basically Bruce and a folk band doing a bunch of songs popularized by folk singer Pete Seeger. Sound boring? It's not. Since its Bruce, there's a definite rock edge to it, but there's also a strong element of gospel as well. Seriously, the thing plays like Bruce Springsteen leading a church revival. It's truly unique and one of the better albums I've bought in awhile. And if anyone wants to see him with me, he'll be in Noblesville on May 31. I can't pass a chance to see this stuff performed live.